


My Haste

by BuckySunshine



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Cap B-Day, Captain America: The First Avenger, Drabble, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Fluffy, Fourth of July, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, POV Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Stucky - Freeform, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 09:32:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15167771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuckySunshine/pseuds/BuckySunshine
Summary: What if Steve had jumped from the train just after Bucky's fall and did go seek back after him?Some fix-it for what happens in the first Cap movie





	My Haste

**My Haste**

 

I knew from the start that wasn’t a good idea. Although, kind of fair. I’ve always wanted to be a soldier despite my fragile health. I always sought to be more than I was. However, if the fact of taking a high dose of a certain type of serum had been my last chance to get it… I would be doing it without question for I finally being recruited to the army. 

So, no regrets about it. Not at all.

I mean, I did not regret becoming a Captain America, but yet, I do regret exactly having become the Captain America.

A statement that makes no sense, you’re right, Bucky, because you’re always right, I must admit. 

My heart is also this kind of nonsense. What to say about a heart that, all these years, has held within only a single person? It’s funny to think how something like this seemed matter nothing that day when I did THAT to you.

Okay. Even if I didn't blame myself that much...

I was responsible for everything. For having dragged you back to the war with me when you were already decided to quit. When you were already exhausted and not assuming it.

My worst nightmare has been when my hand could not reach yours.

I did not hold you.

And you fell down.

I was not a hero.

Not at all, except after a brief moment between to cry for losing you and deciding to try something that might really change our terrible fate. A few miles ahead, I jumped off the same train that I had dropped you.

Then I sought back after the most important rescue of my life.

The perks of becoming a Super Soldier had spared me from parachute use. Landed without a single scratch, I only needed my compass in a hand and a good five-minute-walking through the dense snow to soon spot a dark blurred figure against the whiteness ahead. So I sprinted toward it. I ran really fast because I knew it was you. I would recognize you at any distance, at any weather or time of the day, in any setting ...

From any planet.

And even if it was in another galaxy, I would have felt the same freeze running up my spine. I’d be shocked the same way when I saw your health condition as I’ve approached you. There was too much crimson in that icy blanket over that ungrateful ground beneath my feet. Severely injured, your wounds revealed an impending death, only if...

I'm a lucky guy. I lifted half of your body to accommodate it to my lap but I was rewarded with no reaction from you. My outfit, the one you've suggested me to keep days ago, was now dark from the flow of your watery blood.

But as I said, I'm a lucky guy. With the aid of your own handkerchief tied to mine, I improvised a tight garrote to contain the bleeding from where you arm was missing. I tried not to think too much about everything that accident had just stolen from you. You still had a beating heart in your chest, even though a over pounding one that surely could be running to a heart arrest, everything that really mattered was that I've been there with you, ready to act fast.

There were no colors in your face. The pallor of wax was set with the snow, so I took you in my arms. And, before I lose the chance of seeing your eyes shining blue for me again, I ran.

I ran faster than ever. 

I needed you. That time, I had got all the rush in the world.

 

***ooo***

 

Your fever increased and then ceased in this same aseptic bed which you now rest. Fourth of July today, I would be hearing fireworks outside if we were home. I sit at your feet writing this to you, nervous looking forward to see your eyes open soon. I feel the need to register my thoughts and, this way, trying to prevent the demons that have haunted me since I brought you to this army hospital. I hope this innocuous silence can ease your pains too, but, no worries, every night I got to warm your hand between mine.

Today is my birthday and the anniversary of a whole nation, but everything I wish is to see the light of these beautiful colored irises facing me again. I long for seeing an innate sweet smile crossing your handsome face. 

I write to not to cry. I leave my paper and pen aside when my hope gains some power.

Faith often visits me too, but when it runs off without a warning, I lean to your lips and take them in mine. I feel your smooth skin burning. I kiss you deeper if fear sieges me closer. You don't respond me back and I know it's not because I did not ask your permission. I know you've longed for it as much as I. 

I'm a lucky man, Buck.

I'm a selfish man too for the record.

I simply don't accept the fate of not having you back, I ran a lot. I blamed myself for everything here.

But now…

Now you have colors on your cheeks to afford to absolve me and protecting me from my insane haste in doing everything for you.

So, I plead a birthday present, Bucky. Wake up already. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! That's the first fanfic I post here and I'm kinda happy/kinda scared about it lol and I have to say I'm an ESL (my first language is Portuguese) plus I just wrote this drabble this morning and that's why it hadn't got any beta reader, sorry. I wanted to make something cute for Cap B-day, so I hope you guys have enjoyed it!
> 
> Kudos/comments would be nice ♡


End file.
